b e n l y

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12.06.2002

There are some rules in life that just shouldn't be broken, because otherwise people are likely to get hurt. Yes, I'm among the last that should be saying this; God knows I've done shit I'm not particularly proud of... but FUCK! the timing's just way off. Let's just consider this to be payback, and call it even, shall we? Thanks benly, and good night.
02:14 |

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12.05.2002

This morning was the first time I'd shaved in a couple days. I was running late so I used my electric razor. As always, I forgot to pull my skin taut when I used it on my neck so I chewed the skin up kinda bad. Anyway, I'm ordering my made to order tacos at lunch and the girl making my tacos points at my neck and giggles and asks me, "who gave you that?" If it had been anything other than my electric razor, which I read btw is often times mistaken for a dildo inside airplane luggage, or if I had a make out buddy, I probably would've thought it was hilarious. Well actually, I did think it was pretty funny, but I think I was thinking too hard about getting the sour cream on the side to laugh with her. By the time I got her joke and realized I should laugh with her, it was far too delayed. I guess she thought I was pissed and she started apologizing profusely. I couldn't seem to convince her that I wasn't mad. It's bad enough that I feel bad when I say/do stupid sh*t on my own, but I've noticed that I've been feeling bad about things other people do to me. I hope I'm not becoming hyper-sensitive. The holidays do have a way of making you feel paranoid/self-conscious/extra-single-and-therefore-alone.

So my parents have been watching this korean drama/mini-series deal every night. I guess that was kind of redundant. I've never seen a mini-series that wasn't melodramatic. My mom keeps telling me I should watch it with them. Not to spend quality time, no... but so that I can learn korean, see how nice korean people ask each other out on dates, and meet a nice korean girl of my own like on t.v. My mom's sense of reality is so messed up sometimes. Kinda reminds me of the mom in Requiem for a Dream *shudder* (not a movie you wanna see if you plan on having a good week).
20:50 |

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12.02.2002

So I saw everyone on saturday. It's great when you see people you haven't seen for a long ass time and nothing has changed. Saturday night turned out not so bad... I actually time it perfectly so that all the people I didn't want to see had already taken off. Got my drink on, played some daytona. I love driving games.

Ugh... getting really sick of being mr. dependable, mr. responsible, mr. usable. Ok sorry, I'm trying to write more stuff but it's just not coming out right right now. I guess I'll just say I hate having to do shit that people don't want to do themselves but are perfectly capable of doing. I mean, if someone came up to me and asked me to do something that they couldn't possibly do on their own, like drive two cars or wax their back or something, I'd gladly help out. But for someone to ask me to do something cuz they don't feel like it or don't want to learn how, and then sit by idly and watch you do it for them?! Oh man. Fuck that makes me mad!

Oh that reminds me: I'm gonna try to stop swearing, unless abso-fucking-lutely necessary. Ok... go. Fuck, no wait. Ok, now.
04:04 |

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